Holding On Under Heavy Skies

I woke up at my usual time this morning and got dressed, moving through the motions. I pulled my card from the Momento deck—Embalming Fluid. Holding on. Something that feels nearly impossible after yesterday.

preserve something. get display ready. holding on. keep tradition going.

Next came the task of publishing yesterday’s blog post. Getting it out was painful, but it’s done. Today’s weather held the possibility of rain. Good—the gods can cry with me. The stand would stay closed, and the goats would not graze. Dinner was already sorted; I still had the supplies from last night’s plan. Then I turned to the girls’ school folders. Yesterday they had only managed their calendar activity and a couple of pages from the zoo packet, so organizing today’s lessons was quick work.

I started my cleaning rounds, forcing myself through the usual animal and household routines in small bursts. Snappy got fed, and then I laid down for a bit—until it was time to make breakfast for the girls and get them dressed. After eating, they listened to a book and then worked more on their zoo packet. Dameion headed out with the dogs, and I fed my sourdough starter. Before long, it was time for the girls to head down to Mom and Dad’s for the day. I needed a mental reset.

what we believe is a wild passion fruit flower

With the girls away, Charlie in the shower, and Dameion tending to his usual chores, I moved slowly through the rooms, cleaning and bug spraying. After Charlie was done, he sorted through the elderberries Dameion had brought in for me earlier in the week. We sealed them away, then walked together to check the trees for more, managing to fill a five-gallon bucket from what we could reach. Soon, Dameion was off to bring the girls home.

a beautiful lady in her web

When they returned, they went to their room for a short transition period. They’re always a little sharper after coming back from Mom and Dad’s—probably from having to mask so much of themselves while they’re there and needing space to let it out. While they settled, Charlie and I made BLTs for dinner.

girls watching the boat get prepared.

After transition time, the girls ate and then joined us at the pond for a short boat ride. Back inside, they filled out their “Under the Pond” worksheets. Sephy wrapped up the rest of her zoo packet, and together they went through their picnic flashcards before it was time to get ready for bed.

getting in the water.

Once the girls were tucked in, I moved through the house one last time, straightening what I could, making those small final touch-ups that help me feel like the day is truly done. By the time I finished, the weight of everything pressed down on me. I was empty—spent in every way. There was nothing left but to sink into the quiet and let the night take me.